5 fears of new parents (and how to cope!)
During pregnancy, as a parent, sometimes from an abstract idea to a cold fact. It's terrible. Just like grabbing my heart, I feel dizzy.
Because all of a sudden, you suddenly realize that this little nectarine growing in your belly has turned into artichokes and into pineapples. It is actually a living person and needs your help. But this little human has no manual, so what should I do now ?!
The good news is that you are not the only parent to worry about your baby. From weird thoughts to legitimate concerns, those who are also mothers will vent their greatest fear of new parents, and we will appease them.
Fear 1: The child will ruin my marriage. In a relationship, the baby seemed to be a permanent light bulb, and in some ways, it was true. This may explain why prospective parents, like me, fear that a baby can ruin a rock-solid marriage. I have seen happy couples staring at each other for a few nights after taking care of a newborn. I heard some new moms complain about their boobs changing from a sexy area into a milk pouch. Naturally, I don't want to be involved and determined to do things differently when our children are born. Was my plan going well? Not exactly—with some bumps and bumps—but five years later, my husband and I are stronger and more loving than ever.
Of course, writing QT with your partner in pencil will help. Preeti Parikh, MD, suggested: "Try to make sure there is an appointment night every week so that everyone has some time of their own. He is a clinical assistant professor of pediatrics at Mount Sinai School of Medicine. , Appreciate each other, acknowledge each other's efforts and efforts to have children. "
Fear 2: I will not be with my children. For some parents, maternal or fatherly love begins at the moment they see the newborn, or after some face-to-face communication. But for others, the connection is not so straightforward. Having experienced a difficult pregnancy-including placental abruption, preeclampsia, and emergency cesarean delivery-Melissa Gandini's mother in Hudson, Mass., Believes that the first few weeks of her pregnancy It will be easy. But in the first month, she struggled with postpartum depression. She has no affection for her children and fears that she will be the worst mom ever. "I thought,‘ I shouldn't feel that way; '”she said. "Then I'm worried it won't pass, and I will always feel that way." Fortunately, the Great Depression did pass, and Gandini was able to enthusiastically engage in the role of mother.
Whether you have postpartum depression or infant depression, it is important to know that you are not alone. Dr. Parrick said that about 70% to 80% of mothers experience depression because of changes in hormone levels, lack of sleep, new responsibilities, and changes in your entire life. She recommends taking as many nap as possible, relying on the support of friends and family, and going out as much as possible. You can also call your doctor. Dr. Parrick said: "It is very likely that it will not only be a form of depression, but also turn into depression, which lasts more than a week and really affects your life." "There are treatments, even for depression, you should often Talk to your doctor. "
Fear 3: I can't breastfeed. "I can't believe it, you gave birth to a child without guidance!" Said Paula Ingram. "I worry that I don't have enough milk to feed her," she said. "When she was weaned, I was worried that I was doing something terrible and that recipe would ruin her. Even now, I am worried that she will not be full."
Does that sound familiar? Breathe deeply-breastfeeding is difficult. Even if you master the logistics from the beginning, sometimes it takes a week to deliver the milk. Establishing supply can take up to a month. In other words, take a break and don't be shy about asking for help. "It is important to have a support system that includes breastfeeding consultants, pediatricians, family, friends, and nearby breastfeeding support groups," Dr. Parrick said. "If you are concerned about the latch and need to replenish milk, you can use cups, syringes and other techniques."
If you decide to use a formula, don't feel guilty. She explained: "Our formula can provide your baby with the nutrients it needs." "It's safe to give your child and your child will thrive." She added that, most importantly, you Be close to your baby.
Fear 4: I will treat my child the wrong way. Before she became pregnant, a mother named Ande Campbell in Brooklyn, New York, was scolded for holding the wrong friend's newborn. So when her own son came, she was worried that she was holding him unsafely, which is understandable. "I'm worried I'll break his neck, I don't know how to support him." "I'm so worried, I don't know how to hold my child."
Considering that most babies do not master the tricks of head control until 4 months of age, it is no wonder that so many new parents are nervous about holding such a small newborn. Usually, mom and dad need to hold several meetings before feeling normal. Just make sure your head and neck are straight when you hold your baby, or do a cradle-style hold. (If you are really not sure, ask the nurse to give you a quick guide before you leave the hospital!)
Fear 5: I will accidentally hurt my baby. The possibility of serious mistakes-accidental overdose; when you are a novice parent or prospective parent, giving up your new born child seems endless. Just remember that if you are unsure or worried about something, you should call a pediatrician-they may all have heard it!
"I'm worried that the piece of food is stuck in my throat or that an invisible virus is coming," said Dana McCranie, the mother of two children in Huntsville, Alabama. "Now that my child has grown up, those invisible things still keep me up at night. I worry about what they say in class or what I am doing, and they will shake their heads when they look back in later life. My fear always comes from the unknown, but I think this is the beautiful window sill that we as parents will step on. "